09.03.04: Chip goes out on his Triple Jewels of Ontario's Crown Tour and lives to tell the tale!

09.03.04: It's here, it's queer, get used to it. Chip Zdarsky's Prison Funnies Issue Two: Destination Destinty (2/3): Destiny's Child is now available in our handy online store!

07.14.03: Chip returns from sabbatical with a big ol' update featuring a new comic, Monster Cops and Animated Prison Funnies. So back off, alright?

12.18.02: Chip starts pencilling Prison Funnies Issue Two and makes a solemn promise that it will be lacklustre at best. Fans are outraged. But what does he care, he's filthy rich, right?

12.12.02: Since becoming extremely cool, chip has decided to open a proper on-line forum so people can discuss cool things, like Chip, or faded jeans, or doing anal with J-Lo.

11.28.02: Responding to the liberal Jew media, Chip decides to start an on-line diary that sets the record straight. If you know what I mean. "Straight."

09.17.02: Chip astonishingly quits the local chapter of the Warlords and Warladies Figurine Painting Club! He decides to join the Toronto chapter of the Book Designers Appreciation Society instead!

09.12.02: Chip's new column debuts at popimage.com! Pop N' Chip Party!

08.27.02: After attending the Toronto Comic Con 2002, Chip has the time of his life and re-invents himself for a whole new generation of Chip-o-philes. Check out his latest message here! Just kidding. Check it out here!

07.16.02: Chip begins looking for a job! Watch out service industry!

07.04.02: Prison Funnies Issue One is complete! Chip once again proves the naysayers wrong and completes something. Obviously half-assed, but complete nonetheless!

06.10.02: It's up! Chip's first ever on-line interview! Check out popimage.com for an in-depth look at the man, the myth, the sadness that is... Chip Zdarsky.

06.03.02: We here at "http://www.stevetastic.com /prison /news" are always looking for more ways to entertain and inform you, the reader. Well, we've outdone ourselves if we do say so ourselves. Introducing: CHIP ZDARSKY'S SEXY NEWS BULETIN ! It's exactly as it sounds, so be warned! There's hardcore male frontal nudity involved, so if you can't handle the sight/thought of Chip's swollen man-member go here for God's sake!

06.02.02: Keep an eye out on www.popimage.com for an extensive interview with Chip coming soon! Entertaining and informative and libelous!

04.05.02: Chip's busting out all over! It would appear that Prison Funnies is to be a regular strip in the infamous Too Much Coffee Man magazine. Chip has offcially made the jump from sub-underground to underground! Break out the champagne kids!

02.14.02: Happy Valentine's Day! Even though Chip didn't bring back any sunshine with him from beautiful San Francisco, he did manage to bring back a little something he's never had before: crabs! That's right, Chip's laid up with the burning sensation that can only come from tiny parasites (about 1 - 2mm) that can live up to one month on humans, feeding on human blood by sucking it from the skin. This has caused Chip no end of pain and confusion since the last time he had intercourse was August 1997.

02.11.02: Chip returns from San Francisco! Refreshed and eager to hit the drawing table, Chip smashes it with a hammer, tears bursting from the blackened husks he used to call eyes. Even though he sold well over four issues of "The Collected Prison Funnies" at APE, Chip still feels that the $500 plane ticket, $200 convention table and $20 YMCA lodgings overshadowed his $16 of profit.

02.09.02: Chip kicks off his world tour in San Francisco at the Alternative Press Expo! Sales are brisk, and by brisk, I mean poor. And by poor, I mean dismal. But regardless, the tour has been kicked off. And by kicked off I mean finished.

01.22.02: With two months having passed, Chip still finds himself hopelessly single. The lack of any response whatsoever from his personal ad on nerve.com has sent Chip into what can only be referred to as a massive clinical depression.

01.11.02: Chip performs for the first time with his band, "We Bill Cosby The Town Of Rock & Roll" at the Cloak & Dagger, a Toronto Celtic bar. The overwhelming response and turn-out cause conflicting emotions in the group and they break up shortly after their performance.

11.23.01: The time has come. Time for Chip Zdarsky to take a bride! That's right, Chip's itchin' to get hitchin'! As the months melt away and with his ex-girlfriend Mandy still missing, Chip has decided that these cold, Canadian winter nights need not be lonely anymore. So, in the gaming pursuit of a woman-friend, Mr. Zdasrky has place a personal ad at nerve.com! Sign up today to view & respond to his ad! If you're not willing to sign up, click here to see a graphic of the ad itself! Remember, Chip's e-mail server can only handle 150mb of mail, so please send me your date requests over the period of a few days!

11.19.01: The announcement's been made! This winter expect to see "Prison Funnies Issue One: The Case of the Calamitous Convict" on sale everywhere, specifically my living-room!

08.26.01: The final day of the convention! Due to word-of-mouth, sales continue to increase! Feeling cocky with the fistfulls of money he now possesses, Chip takes some time out for a $10 massage from the enrapturing ladies at the chiropracter/massage booth! Chip stumbles away from the beautiful ladies, far too relaxed, and spends the rest of his day slumped in his chair, half asleep. When it comes time to draw a name in the "Win a Date With Chip Zdarsky" contest, Chip is so relaxed he forgets to rig the contest so a particular lovely lady wins! A young man by the name of "Ruddiger Whore"'s entry is pulled out of the jar and Chip, honour bound, declares him the winner. The details of the date will be discussed in an upcoming update.

08.25.01: Using his charm and money, Chip manages to sneak himself and some select friends into the "Industry Night" dinner! Seeing this as a key opportunity to mingle and "break in" to the industry, Chip's dreams are quickly shattered as he ends up sharing a table with the only non-comics related people at the convention: several chiropractors/masseuses looking to cash in on geeks' poor posture. While initially disappointed, Chip soon finds himself pleasantly surprised with his extreme attraction for the charming and beautiful manhandling ladies, and the night unfolds into something quite pleasant. Unfortunately, Chip decides during the buffet dinner to try the mussels and spends the rest of the night entering realms of pain and hallucinations heretofore unknown and awakes in a cold sweat, naked, on his dirty bathroom floor.

08.24.01: The Canadian National Comic Book Expo 2001 kicks off, featuring "The Collected Prison Funnies"! Chip's table, while being in the farthest corner of the convention centre, facing a wall, draws tens of people, resulting in brisk sales that break the double-digit mark by day's end!

05.20.01: Chip decides to publish a collected version of Prison Funnies and announces it on this site. Chip then awaits fans' e-mails telling him how much they want it.

05.12.01: While residing with his mother, Chip decides to go on living, well away from his mother. Brought back on staff at Taco Bell, at a reduced wage, Chip is back as a productive member of society.

04.23.01: Chip leaves dark rambling message on the answering machine of his best friend Mr. Shoontzy. Mr. Shoontzy arrives at his house four days later, just in time, to stop Chip from killing himself. Apparently, the lack of public outrage at Chip's announcement of retirement was just what was needed to push Chip over the ever-encroachening edge. Mr. Shoontzy sends Chip back home to stay with his mother.

04.14.01: Chip announces his retirement from his weekly strip duties at the Independent Weekly. He cites the downturn in the economy and his rising legal bills.

03.22.01: Just a quick reminder: Chip's Annual Oscar Party is just around the corner, so remember: B.Y.O.T.V! We don't want another disappointment like last year!

03.20.01: Chip has decided to do what's morally right: become a vegetarian. Following a strict regimine, Chip will now only eat that which eats of the earth. All carnivorous animals are forever off his menu. So keep your African Lion Burgers and Mountain Couger Pie to yourself, murderer!

03.12.01: Chip writes his first movie review! A local comic book, "Infinite Kung-Fu" commisioned him to write about the movie "Wolf Devil Woman" for it's second senses-shattering issue. Chip, not owning a VCR, used his deceptively simple genius and based his review on the description of the movie from the back of the box. From this he then extrapolated what the rest of the movie must have been like, by using his tiger-like imagination. Then, using his razor-sharp reasoning skills, Chip cut and paste from a review he found on the internet.

03.04.01: Chip wows judges at the eighth annual Warlords and Warladies national figure painting contest! His entry, "Gandalf, as played by Sir Ian Mckellan in the forthcoming Lord of the Rings trilogy, minus hat" was narrowly beaten out by Kagan Macleod's "elf" for the coveted Warpainter trophy. The trophy itself was a metaphorical trophy, so there was no great loss.

02.28.01: Chip eats three large bags of Cheez Doodlez and watches all six hours of the Star Wars trilogy. Heads to bed early and weeps gently, his pillow a mixture of tears and orangy-stains.

02.25.01: Chip is commissioned for his first-ever paying job, an eight-panel gay pornographic fantasy strip! Click here to see it! Warning: the strip contains graphic hot male nudity in the forms of juicy, mouth-watering members and delicious, sweaty testes. Because of this, we advise the squeamish to head here or here and return when they're sufficiently comfortable.